THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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