it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
