It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
