Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
