Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're a waste of cheezeits
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
