I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
