I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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