The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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