Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
