and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
