this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
