And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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