just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
