Ambien. No doubt about it.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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