Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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