i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
