I can tuck mytits in my pants
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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