Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
