He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
