you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
