We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
