Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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