That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
