i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
