I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
