Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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