are you still at the devil's house?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
