Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
