wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
