...so i touched it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
