How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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