i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
