I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
