STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
