I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
