youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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