i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
