you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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