I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
