Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
