Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
