IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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