are you still at the devil's house?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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