I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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