also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
