like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
