perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need to calm my uterus...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
