I just saw a hot homeless man
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
