So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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