Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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