You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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