also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
